Seriously, is it really that much to ask?

Most of you know that I’m out in the job market.  2.5 good years with my most recent employer ended only after a long drawn out bankruptcy and capital restructuring effort.  As with all experiences, I am thankful for my time there – learned a lot along the way.  As I contemplate my next move – a task I’m taking quite seriously – I’ve begun to inventory those things that would bring meaning to any new role I pursue. This seems to be an important exercise.  And here’s what I have so far.  I want a job where:
  • I can say whatever to whomever whenever;
  • I am allowed to take one or two “do-overs” a week without penalty (I’m tired of learning from mistakes and would just as soon erase them);
  • I avoid ever having to be on a conference call that lasts more than 15 minutes;
  • my boss sits down with me for 1/2 hour every month just to talk about ME and MY performance…without being asked to do so;
  • I spend more time hanging out with people than I do sitting in front of a computer;
  • I am less experienced than most every one in the room;
  • paid sabbaticals are required from time to time;
  • people care about their physical, mental, and spiritual health;
  • there are no “sacred cows”;
  • I can challenge the status quo without fear of my political demise;
  • titles and reporting structures mean less than what you actually bring to the table; and who’s at the table has less to do with what your title is or who you report to;
  • one is permitted to use a cricket bat to whack egregious jerks on their heads;
  • I get to work in the great outdoors from time to time;
  • I travel enough to get a break but not so much that I miss out at home;
  • people are better at fixing the problems than they are talking about them;
  • one can get a cold beer from the soda (pop) machine;
  • backstabbing, drama, gossiping, and immaturity are terminable offenses;
  • I get to work with people outside of the US often;
  • people smile and say good morning and genuinely care about what’s going on in your life;
  • most people are there because they want to be, not because they have to be;
  • most people don’t look like I do or come from the same place as I do;
  • forms, policies, procedures, and protocols are there only as they absolutely and positively have to be;
  • the base compensation is fair and reasonable, yet making a ton of money for extraordinary contributions is not an impossibility;
  • retention is an outcome, not a program;
  • we laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh…

This list will continue to grow – of that I am sure.  But even as it stands, I really don’t think I’m asking for that much.

  • Lou Bonica

    How about…”Spending money on tools that will help me do my job better is not for my enjoyment but to…um…help me do my job better.”?

  • HRMargo

    You realize everyone on twitter loves you, don’t you? Enjoy this time, and know I’ve got your back, my friend.

  • Charlie

    @Lou ain’t it the truth – in fact, just give me the cash-in-hand if you plan on spending it on stuff that makes no difference to me or my colleagues.

    @Margo I luv you dearly and thanks for the comment. You are an inspiration!

  • LWC

    I’ve come to really enjoy your posts! Keep up the good work of telling it like it is (or at least should be).

    P.S If you find a place that meet your criteria, let me know how I can join. It sounds very similar to my idea of nirvana!

  • Trish McFarlane

    Charlie, love the list. I know places pretty damn close to this exist. SLCH where I work has most of these things. We lack the cricket bat, beer in the soda machines, and the do-overs without penalty. I’m sure I get some do-overs w/out penalty, but not two a week. lol Seriously, I think this is the time of your life to look hard at the work environment and it’s not unrealistic to expect to find a place that will meet a majority of your needs. I sat for far too long at my last organization even though I knew after a couple months that the culture was not right for me. Lesson learned. Take risks, think of working somewhere you would have never considered before. I think when we look for a job we tend to gravitate to something comfortable and similar to what we are used to.

    Break the mold Charlie. Be bold. I know you are!
    .-= Trish McFarlaen´s last blog ..Fistful Of Talent Top 25 Talent Management Blogs- v7.0 =-.

  • Chris Chapel

    Good list. I like the terminable offenses.