The Unemployed Basketball Association

The National Basketball Association’s (NBA) recent impasse has now shortened the regular season by 2 weeks (the pre-season has already been cancelled.) The owners and players are fighting over money…what else?!? The average NBA player’s salary is $4.8 million a year…they lead the world of global sports in this mark.

While they squabble over their millions, 14 million Americans are out of work. Most would kill to have a contract to dispute; and they wouldn’t be disputing it if they did. In case you didn’t realize it, Mr. NBA guy, many of those unemployed workers are your fans…maybe even your biggest fans. They wear your jerseys, watch your games, buy your merchandise, and loyally support your teams (even when they probably can’t afford to do so).

So here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to form the Unemployed Basketball Association (UBA). I’m going to hire a bunch of out-of-work basketball coaches to help me scout the streets – the neighborhood pick-up games, the YMCA, the community colleges. We’re going to find a bunch of out of work people who happen to also be bad-ass mofo basketball players – and my guess is most could outplay you if only given the chance. We’ll recruit teams in every market you’re in. We’ll play in the stadiums you once adorned. We’ll work with the ESPNs and ESPN2s of the world to broadcast our games. We’ll market and sell UBA team merchandise. And we’ll share all the proceeds, profits and royalties 50% / 50% – equal partnership, baby.

You laugh. You think I’m kidding. Do you know how easy it would be for someone to do this? The message is positive; the public is tired of your antics; it would inject 10’s of millions of dollars into our economy; it would put 1,000 people back to work – roughly 450 of them players who were never quite given the chance; it would give the less-fortunate something to cheer about once again; it would be incredible entertainment – good, scruffy, hard-fought ball; and they’d be cheering for real role models instead of the big fat crybabies you’ve become. Can you imagine the story lines?!?!? Who wants in?!?!?

I have a plea for anyone who is a player, owner, or affiliated in any official capacity with the NBA: get over it, man-up, and do the right thing.

Image Credit: Kevin H. (via Compfight)

  • Matthew Stollak

    Did you check out Bill Simmons idea;

  • Anonymous

    luv it. great minds. and for the record, i don’t read his blog and he doesn’t read mine so neither of us plagiarizer…

  • John

    It wouldn’t really work, but I love the idea of setting up college teams. Just do that. Have them play at their college courts. They would sell out every game at the big 10 college schools. Then have some way of deciding on drafting others (never went to college, Steph Curry at Davidson…). Maybe you have teams like Wisconsin/Ohio State and they play 1/2 the home games in each place… Fun to think about anyway.

  • Anonymous

    oh ye of little faith